Once upon a time there was a nice Gentile Christian boy by the name of Delek. Every Sunday he went to church with his parents. He set proudly in the pew and tried to understand what was going on. He went to Sunday school with the rest of the kids, and learned how to pray to Jesus.
One Sunday on the way to Church with his folks, Delek saw a man walking. The man was dressed with black attire, had a long gray beard and glasses, and was wearing a black wide brim fedora. Right then and there, Delek made the most important decision of his young life, he wanted to be just like the man he saw. He begun searching and found out the man he saw was Jewish. "What is Jewish?" he asked himself. When it was explained to him what a Jew is he said to himself "wow, I want to be a Jew.
Years past, Delek grew up became a nice Christian man, and had a nice family. But the old dream to become Jewish was still on the top of his desires, so he set out to pursue his dream. To his chagrin, the first thing he was told was that in order to become Jewish he needs to drop Jesus. "No way" Delek said, "this I cannot do." He kept going from one Jewish denomination to another but to no avail, everywhere he went, he was told "you have to denounce "this man." As strong will as he was, Delek would not give up his dream, so he kept searching, and then he discovered Messianic Judaism. "Hey, those people believe in Jesus, this is the perfect home for me" he said to himself and dived into it hook, line and sinker.
Along the way there were some bumps. He was not allowed to make עליה לתורה - Going up to read from the Torah- it was only for Jews they told him. He was not allowed to wear Talit, Tzitzit, or a Kipah they told him. He is there to serve the Jewish people...All this can change if he will undergo conversion. In the beginning, Delek accepted the verdict, but as time passed he started to see himself not as sitting in the pews, he wanted to become a Rabbi. What a wonderful sound this title has, he thought. But there he encountered even a stiffer opposition. They told him that even though their denomination has Gentile Rabbis from past time, the new laws and regulation specifically state that if you are not Jewish you cannot become a Rabbi.
But that of course will not stop our Delek, heck, not with all leaders withing the denomination who are masquerading as Jews. "What got into those people?" He asked. So he went on a mission to find some Jewish organization that will convert him. Lo, and behold Delek found an organization who was consistent of 3 1/2 Rabbis who were willing to convert him. Never mind that his own denomination did not accept his "conversion," so were any other Jewish denominations and branches. Never mind that Delek's "conversion" papers are not worth the paper they were written on, Delek does not care. He is a Jew in his own mind, which of course is quite a small body of approval, don't you think so?
And then came the flood. Delek was convinced that his small mind approval will give him the authority to tell, us Jews, how to be Jews. He was sure that he was now authorized to teach the father how to make children. After all, he wanted to become Jewish from a young age, and in his small mind he is entitled to tell us what and what not to do. He is Jewish now, you see... They cut his shwantzel and POOF he is a Jew.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real Characters are purely co-incidental....And if you believe that, I have a beach front property in Arizona I can sell you.....
Will continue...
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